by Dawn | February 01, 2017
I rubbed my face. Maybe for the fourth or fifth time, maybe more. It was after school hours, and my friend and I were in the classroom. In my table, she was crying across me, and I couldn’t help but pinch the bridge of my nose at her cause. Frustration was all over my face, and I urged to express my annoyance. I didn’t.
“Kimmy…” I sighed. It came right out of my mouth without my consent. And I was surprised that I didn’t care if she have seen through my frustration or not.
In her continuous sobbing, I was guessing she didn’t. Her face was almost covered by stains of her tears, and her cheeks were getting red than pink. She came to me just before I was about to leave, crying out her problem. Her annoying, dramatic problem.
“What should I do, Lynn?” She said between sobs. “I don’t know if he still cares for me anymore.” She finally wiped her face with the back of her hands. She needed a handkerchief, something I didn’t have at the moment. “Is it because I don’t go along with his friends? Am I lacking something, Lynn?”
Another sigh escaped my mouth, rubbing the space between my eyebrows with both hands before I put them down, determined to give her the answers she’s been asking. Straight to the point.
It was the first time Kimmy lifted her eyes at me ever since she started crying. Even her eyes were turning red, and I couldn’t help but pity her at her state—not for crying, but being so blind in all of this. I knew she was seeing the stern look of mine, even though I partly didn’t want her to.
“Do you really think you’re the only one who’s lacking in your relationship?” I continued.
She sniffed. A very childish one at that. “I-I think so.”
“I think so too.” I swore I saw her face squirm at that, though I was only agreeing. “But what about him? Do you think he’s doing something for your relationship?”
She hesitated. “W-what do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve been giving almost all the effort. Why can’t you see he’s not doing the same?”
Caleb had asked for a date with Kimmy about a month ago. Along the lockers. Near my locker. Kimmy was tagging along with me when Caleb approached her, asked her for a date, and the next day she literally squealed at my face saying it’s already them. Just like that.
“No. He does,” she defended, her face showing signs of attempts to prove me wrong. “I’ve received numbers of my favorite flowers and three teddy bears. He took me to malls, treated me with my favorite food, he’s done all that.”
I couldn’t stop my brow from cocking. “Just that?”
She sniffed the rest of her cry in my question. “What are you trying to imply, Lynn?”
I slid my hands from my face to my hair. I didn’t want to say this directly, but it’s the only way I could do it. With my emphasizing gestures going along with me, I said, “I’m saying that you two aren’t fit to be in a relationship at all.”
Her face contorted. “What?”
“Listen, Kimmy. What he’s doing are only efforts trying to flatter you and impress others and himself. Remember the day he found out that you like him?”
“Ever since that day, he started trying to get your attention, in the flirtiest ways.”
She blinked, dropping her eyes on the table mulling over what I said.
“Remember, Kimmy? The winks? The constant flattering compliments?” which were inappropriate, I wanted to say. “The hand holding? He only started being so sweet at the beginning of your relationship.”
“But he loves me,” she defended again, quite a bit hesitant at her own claim this time. “He told me he loves me…A-and I love him.”
“Are you sure he loves you?”
“Are you sure you love him?”
Her shock paused her a bit. “You’re asking me if I love him?”
I brought my knuckles to my mouth, eyeing her seriously. Without answering her question, I raised another. “Why do you love him, Kimmy?”
“What? I just do. Do we need a reason to love?”
“In our nature, yes.” My voice decreased into a quieter tone. I’ve grown tired of this conversation even before it started. It’s already taking its effects. “Everything has a reason Kimmy. Why do you think you said ‘yes’ when he asked you out?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I get what you mean…”
“I remember what your reasons were when you said you had a crush on him. Can you?”
“Perfectly handsome,” I finished for her. I didn’t think I couldn’t cringe when it came right from her mouth. “That’s what you said.”
“But I’ve seen more of him in our relationship. He’s really a nice person.”
“And a very irresponsible one at that.” I will never forget how that kid didn’t come during that filming for the English project. He chose to be with Kimmy over it, and he was an important character on top of that. Caleb lied to Kimmy that the scene we were taking didn’t involve him. I almost wanted to throw everything I carried at him when I saw him the next day.
“I know,” she admitted in defeated. “But I wanted to understand him, you know. He really didn’t like me being so clumsy, but he understood me.”
“By letting him copy all of your assignments, isn’t that it? Kimmy, why can’t you see that you’re just an entertainment to him?” I leaned closer to her. I made this conversation with her before, and she didn’t like it. I didn’t care. “You’ve seen how he treated his little sister, didn’t you?”
“What does his little sister have to do with this?”
“He hates it when his little sister approaches him, especially when his friends are around. He may be sweet to you at first, but sooner or later you will be treated the same way he treated his little sister.”
“What?” She’s starting to dislike this. “How can you say that?”
“Kimmy, however a guy treats his mother or sister, he will do the same to any other girl. If he can mistreat those who have his same blood, how much more to someone else?”
She grunted, bending her head to scratch the top. “You’re sounding like my mom.”
“Which she may be right. Kimmy, I don’t want you to be a victim of this.”
“You know what? You’re sounding like you know everything about this than I do. You never had any boyfriend since birth.”
“You don’t trust me because I never had a boyfriend before?”
“And certainly because you never had a boyfriend before. How would you know anything about love without actually experiencing it?”
“Well, if you know more about love than I am, how will you explain your boyfriend’s behavior? Huh, Kimmy? Why are you being blind about everything he’s doing? Is that love to you?”
She looked away. “Have you ever heard of the saying ‘love is blind’?”
Lynn sighed. “Unfortunately, yes I have. And that saying is one of the reasons why most of people our age is a victim to infatuated relationships, Kimmy. Do you know that love is the best thing in the world?”
“Then it shouldn’t be blind. Because if it is, you’re actually saying that being in love is being a fool. Do you get it, Kimmy?”
She exhaled a frustrated sigh. I knew she was starting to hate it. “But if he’s the kind of person like you said, what can I do to change him?”
“If he’s not really a good person, I want to change him. I don’t want to end the relationship.”
“You can’t do it.”
“Because the basis of your love for him isn’t love, Kimmy. You first liked him because you thought he was handsome. Your basic reason for saying ‘yes’ to him is because he was handsome, not for who he is. Your relationship is nothing but some puppy love.”
“Are you saying I should break up with him?”
“No, I’m only saying you’re not ready to be in a relationship. None of you are. Just look at his behavior, Kimmy. He couldn’t even get his homework done, he couldn’t get his projects right, how much more in your relationship?”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“I’m not telling you to do anything. I just hope you get something from everything I said and decide what to do yourself.”
She nodded, but her face betrayed her distaste of me. She wiped the remaining stain on her face and struggled to stand up. “I should go. Bye Lynn.”
“Thanks for the time,” I said, with her already on the door and disappeared. I propped my head on my palm, thankful that it was done but felt bad of the outcome. Her farewell sounded more like ‘go away’ than ‘goodbye’. She never liked my answers, even though she kept asking. Though I’m sure it’ll be the last time she’ll ask advices from me.
A figure walked in right after Kimmy left. I looked up to see Aiden with his face mixed with the hint of someone who had heard everything. His knowing smile made me respond a pursed lips and a snort.
Aiden sat against the side of my table and crossed his arms. “That was really good advising.”
“Well, she walked out on me unsatisfied with the answers.”
“Still, I believe you were right.” He looked back to where Kimmy had gone. “Caleb really was only good at looks. A big jerk.” He looked back at me with his knowing smile. “I’m glad you didn’t fall for his tricks when he was annoyingly courting you.”
I laughed. I was also glad he stopped when I kind of blabbered at him on the face when he was being all dramatic when I didn’t respond to his flowers and chocolates. I never liked the chocolates.
“C’mon.” Aiden stood and motioned me to do the same. “Curtis is still in the parking lot. We were waiting for you.”
Posted on Wattpad | “Moment’s Time”
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